That’s just introducing a disparity in power. While I do think the exchange you had that prompted this letter, painful as it was, was refreshingly frank, it would be bad for your relationship to adopt a dynamic in which you’re trying to perfect yourself just for your boyfriend’s sake while he does nothing, as his perfection is assumed. We all have things we could improve about ourselves-you have an advantage for actually attempting to do so. You need not be at the mercy of your own moods.īut you needn’t be at his mercy either. Give yourself time to craft your communication. If you are the kind of person who can’t quite control the harsh things that come flying out of your mouth, consciously take a few beats before saying anything when you’re feeling anxious and heated. Meditation and working out are great stress relievers.
I hope that you’re losing weight for yourself, not him-attempting to please someone with such stringent restrictions is almost always a losing game.Īs far as your self-professed bitchiness is concerned, you can certainly attempt to work on that as well. That he’d have such a visceral reaction to a fairly negligible amount of weight gain suggests he is not very realistic about the normal ways bodies can change. Twenty pounds, though, is not a distorting amount of weight to put on most body types. Weight gain is a touchy subject, and even when true, it’s shitty to accept that it could affect attraction in one’s relationship. That said, you’d expect a little bit more leeway from a committed long-term partner. Kindness, in those instances, can be its own form of cruelty. That’s a common scenario, as partners withhold information for the sake of politeness. At least you aren’t living in torturous limbo, knowing that something is up with him but not being told what. In this case, he only confirmed a couple things you suspected yourself, but it still stings. Honesty is sometimes brutal, which is why you’re hurt. I’ll start with the good news: You have a partner who is honest with you.
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